Fleg Matik: May 2, 1958 - August 9, 2007

[[bass]-The Black Knight]

Fleg Matik: May 2, 1958 - August 9, 2007

After the battle of NY, I sent Fleg Matik an e-mail to tell him of our victory in NY. I just got the devastating response--from his Father.

Fleg had been going through a lot of tough things in real life. Just as it seemed he was getting everything together, he threw it all away.

Fleg Matik took his own life on August 9th, 2007.

Trying to write this eulogy, somehow it seems inappropriate to talk about re-founding bass with Fleggy, or even about his famously long posts--so famous that "flegging" now means making long posts.

The game and the forums was merely the setting for how I found a friend, and now have lost him--not forever, but until we meet again in heaven.

I do so wish I didn't have to make this post...if my words are inadequate I apologize...for two years we've plotted battle plans and talked about life. I miss my friend dearly and will continue to do so.

I plan to send his parents a link to this thread, so that they can read any condolences you may wish to extend.

My words feel so insufficient...may God in his supreme sufficiency and infinite love and power, bring his peace, and fill the hearts of all those who grieve, and give their minds rest.

TBK

[tidus97]

i too am lost for words like phoenix on the GOI forum..when i saw the threads heading i thought it ment that he had left goi - i had hoped it ment he had left goi. but i fear it is not, but much worse

[[bass]-TwoDogs]

Fleggy and I met breifly in Sirius space. We conversed occassionally on the forum. I have some PM's from him about different things. I hold Fleggy in high regard. He was one of the few that I could relate to, could be happy to fly with, whether in full on battle or quiet contemplation.

Fleggy was an amicable, likeable, fun guy who made the world a little brighter. I grieve for his family and their loss. I grieve for the world and it's loss and I grieve for the little bit of emptiness I now find within me.

I wonder at the frailty of the human heart sometimes and what brings us to these crossroads. Where ever Fleggy now finds his path, I hope it is well and he is at peace. I hope he knows he will be sorely missed.

An old dear friend once said "raise an ale and say , yere, he did ok I guess." Well Fleggy, yere. Here's to you mate.

[[DracO]:.Grisha]

am truly hurt by this news. I was just sitting in my office having a break when I saw the post. Im not a person to usually post long posts but here it goes:
Fleggy was one of the first people I got to meet in FL. His attitude to the game was unique, he always enjoyed trading and having a long chat over TS.
At one stage I think we spent good 3 or 4 hours just chatting on TS, most of it was Fleggy trying to describe some technological break through to me and how they could have made it better. Im really going to miss that.

Another thing I’m really going to miss is his Fleggilations and HUGE RP posts. For those fortunate enough to get to know him through DracO and bass restricted forums would know what Im talking about. His Metal bucket/helmet and his bean bag will always be in my memories. He was one of the main contributors to the small RP “Fights” we had, DracO vs bass clan tournament and DracO vs DracO/bass alliance discussion. I always read these to change my mood if I'm down.

The other thing I’m going to miss about Fleggy is his determination to put the history of bass in nearly every post he would make, mentioning Plazma, the re-building of bass and that its [bass] not [bass].

He was also known for his Matik battle fleet, countless numbers of drones he had set up for trading. Now they will be down for maintenance for a long time.

He was such a kind person, full of ideas and knowledge. I’m glad I got to meet him and saddened that I no longer have the chance to get to know him better.

GOI has lost a great guy.
Somehow I know he wont be forgotten, maybe its because fleggilation is now part of GOI’s slang.

Damit Fleggy, why did you have to go.
You were a close Ally, pilot and *darn tootin' good friend to me and DracO and you always have a place in our hearts.

[[bass]-Procene]

What!? He's gone? i dont believe it. he was a good man and a even better clan member. the conversations i have had with him were always interesting and at times, enlightening. it seemed as if i have known him longer than ...its almost 2 years now and his sense of humor was a good one. his commitment to [bass] was, i felt, unwavering. he was liked, ... dare i say, loved, by those who knew him and the forums will sadly be smaller in his absence.

he will be missed dearly I feel.

... well, i suppose one just has to accept the horrible truth of the matter. DAMNIT why did you have to go! ...

im not one for speeches, so ...

Farewell Fleg Matic, the memory of your presence will be remembered until the end of time.

Rest in Peace

[turkeymullet]

Im lost of words, I dont know what to say its a heart shock. I didn't really see fleggy much but when I did see and talk to him he used to be a pleasure and easy man to talk to. He used to make me laugh with his huge forum talks.

Everytime I click on the freelancer icon I will always be think about you as a friend and an allied pilot. R.I.P our good friend

[[bass]-Sly]

Well this is a shock. I can´t believe he is gone. Fleg was one of the first bass members I flew with and used TS with. We would have long conversations while we were trading and he was showing me the ways of bass. I will never forget his scratchy voice on TS. He would always make me laugh.

And I sure will miss his long posts. The super Fleggilations. ;D

I just hope he now finds his peace. May God be with him.

You were a good friend and person Fleg Matik. I raise my glass to you. May you find your way.

Sly

[[bass]-The Black Knight]

You know, it’s funny…the more I think about it, the more I think I owe most if not all of my involvement with the entire GOI community to Fleggy. Let me tell the story.

Shortly after I started playing here, I got recruited by [bass]-Whiskey. I was hesitant to do so, because I was a new parent, and couldn’t dedicate a lot of time to the game. But I decided I’d just be a Nomad Hunter and get guns for the clan. If I could make one of the rare battles, I would. I think I fought in one battle with Whiskey, for Galileo against L03. It was a practice battle I think. I never saw the enemy. I just got killed. It was just me and Whiskey against a bunch of L03, Sure enough Whiskey got Jab King though.

I think I was on one night with [bass]-Crazy, and he needed a money transfer to his ship in Gamma. This was before the /sendcash command, and he wanted me to fly back to NY with my eagle, and fly back again. I said I didn’t have that kind of time, so he told me to start a new character, and he’d fund it for a new Eagle. I didn’t know about turning around and drifting (I didn’t know about drifting) so it took me about three hours to get there, and he got frustrated and left. I don’t think I ever saw him again.

At some point I think the leadership had passed to [bass]-Teppy, and I think it was he that offered [bass] leadership to me, because he didn’t want it anymore.

I turned it down.

I didn’t want to be that involved. You see, Whiskey and Crazy and Teppy were good guys, but they were all about the game—at least that was my experience with them.

I wasn’t playing very much then. I was on and off. There was nothing compelling about it to me yet.

I don’t remember meeting Fleggy. I know that sounds odd. I remember a period where I wasn’t very involved with the game, and I didn’t know him, and then later on somehow I did know him, and I was very involved in the game.

I don’t remember how it happened.

Somehow it was like you didn’t get to know Fleggy—he was so approachable that you just felt like you knew him already.

Fleggy wasn’t all about the game—he was all about the people, and the camaraderie of playing the game. I am of the same mindset--probably at least partially thanks to him--and we became fast friends.

This is the mindset we rebuilt [bass] with, and it’s why [bass] is what it is. [bass] is a place where if you want to be on a team, but you can only play once a year, that’s cool with us. We’re about the people. The game is for the person, not the other way around.

Fleggy made me his second in command, and started to run in to some stress in life, as we all do. There had always been “lively” debates on the GOI forums—for anyone who doesn’t remember the old days, it got brutal from time to time. During the incident of “the Rant” as it became known, Fleggy got himself banned. I argued that there were no rules that he broke. There was a large discussion about this, and in the end result the etiquette rules were created, and I was asked to be a Moderator to help enforce them. From there I was promoted to Admin and System Cop.

Now take Fleggy out of this picture: I probably would have quit playing in 2005. I never would have gotten any good at the game. I never would have started writing. I never would have made a whole lot of friends.

I owe him a lot.

Thank you, Fleggy.

You know, I looked it up: we all talk about how Fleggy came across in his posts. Do you realize he only posted 204 times? Around here where people post three times a day, that’s hardly any. And yet he had so much to say in each, that’s one of the big things we remember him for.

You know what else? There’s a part of me that hopes beyond hope this is all some kind of mistake—that perhaps Fleggy sent that horrible message to me in a moment of despair, in a bad state of mind, needing to see if anyone cared about him. I think the relief of knowing he was there would more than compensate the wasted anguish over his pretended departure.

Of course, denial is not just a river in Egypt.

I’ve read that message several times, looking for his voice, and I hear someone else’s—a father in the worst situation a parent can face.

Again let me reiterate—there will never be a time when Fleggy and his family will not be in my prayers. I know with certainty that God will see them through this. He can heal any wound. I know with certainty that my friend is now at peace, and that I’ll finally meet him face to face at a time of God’s choosing.

Listen everyone, I implore you all: Learn from this. Please never make this horrible mistake. I’m certain Fleggy never imagined that he would cause this many people pain. So it is with all of us. We’ve got to remember that we have an effect on other peoples lives—an important affect.

God works though everyone. We’re all like wires. We can do nothing by ourselves, but God’s power will flow through us if we don’t put up too much resistance, or connect ourselves to the negative terminal.

I know God worked through Fleggy—I told him that many times. Only now does he really understand what good he’d done in life. None of us can judge ourselves. The slightest hello you pay to a passerby on the street may be just enough to get them through the day, and past some rough point in their lives. That person might have just said to themselves, “I’m no good, no one will say hello to me.” And then you walk up an prove them wrong. Poof! They have to re-think their whole self image.

I call him my friend. And I will miss him. But I will meet him face to face at a time of God’s choosing.

See you beyond Space, Fleggy

[[bass]-Thor]

i have nothing to say. my heart burns and my gut is uneasy.

i wont forget you Mr. Mcdonald, fleggy. ever.

rest well my friend.

[[bass]-iikami]

I am lost for words......

You're a good mate Fleggy. I enjoyed flying with you and talking to you and reading your stories and posts in the forum.

I hope that you have found peace.

We all have troubles and pain in our lives from time to time, if anyone reading this feels like their problems are too much to handle, please talk to someone!

I'll miss you Fleggy....

[[bass]-rogan]

I will remember Fleg as the patient teacher who took me and 'kami on our white run.

I take back every time I groaned at the sight of a 100+ line post.

I belive in a human causality and that we achieve eternal life by contributing to, and effecting the people around us with our words and actions.
While I struggle to understand this decision, Fleg certainly will live on in the memories of those he spent time with, myself included.

[[bass]-ramBler]

ok, all I can say is, I've cried over this. Anyone who knows me well enough
knows that that is an awfully big statement, and an even bigger admission.



It's funny, the term "bittersweet" has so much more depth in a situation like
this, and every time you're reminded of it, it seems,,, stronger?, harsher?
I guess it's simply that emotional pain HAS to be healed, and afterwards the
memory is somewhat softer than the fact, so when there's a fresh wound it
has all the strength and impact of the first.
The "funny" thing is, the bitter side of the sweet is such a selfish reaction, really.
It's all about
"'I'M' not gonna experience the sweet things again",
"'I'M' not gonna get to say this",
or
""I'M' not gonna get to apologize for that".
And knowing that it IS such a selfish response is like a 127.0.0.1 for those "bitter" feelings,
because it adds guilt to the mix
"Fleggy's gone, and all i can do is moan about how it affects ME!?!?!"



He, I guess I said a bit more than I thought i was going to. Typical of me, experience something to emotionally strong, and the response is to get a little temporal and chemical separation from it , then analyze it to shreds.




REGRETS!!! WTH!?!?!? such an alien feeling to me.
usually it's
"Ahh smeg, i went wrong here!! and there!!, I wont do THAT next time!!!
now there's the
"THERE WONT BE A NEXT TIME!!" bit added on.

Hmmph, ANOTHER selfish feeling
"Come back so "I" can ease my "OWN" sense of guilt!!!"



Well, here's to you Fleggy, It may not sit well with you, but I'm gonna raise another glass and finish off the bottle in your name, I held off as long as I could, but maybe you'd appreciate the Irony in this too.


*Guano, I'm laughing and crying at the same bloody time here.



Cheers Boss, I'm gonna fugin miss ya!!


ADDED: I have (after some consideration) posted the above on the GOI forums aswell, I felt I had to, can't really say why, but I did, so,
There it is!

I guess he even has something to teach postmortem.
I know what it is internally, but I won't bother "ADDING:" to this post till i can summarize it in a single line statement.
Till then

ramBler!

[[bass]-Boss]

I did a bunch of crying over this too. Some of it at home with my wife when I found out, some of it at mass, some if it after mass after I told my parents, a whole lot of it parked on the side of the road pounding the steering wheel after mass, screaming at him for killing himself.

Being angry at Fleg for killing himself, or sad because he's lost to us are normal reactions--utterly normal.

Hell, I still go into denial from time to time. I've tried to find the obituary on the internet to no avail, and I think to myself, perhaps he just lied to me in a bad state of mind, and he's really ok...

Perhaps some of you don't feel this way--there's nothing requiring you to get emotional either. Some do, some don't. It's simply how you're wired. Some knew him well, some didn't.

But if you do feel that way, well, there's nothing wrong with that.

If you start to really struggle dealing with it over a long period, then there's nothing wrong with talking to someone professional either. Death is tough--needing somone to counsel you through the grief is perfectly normal. Less than an hour after I heard about it I was talking to my priest--to be perfectly honest, my mom was explaining it to him on the steps outside after mass because I was too much of a mess to get the words out.

And I'm not what you would call a crier, either.

We all need help sometimes--I believe God sends us the help we need in many forms. Don't be shy in accepting the gift of help.

I count all of you as the help God sends--he works through all of you. Consider this--ramBler got his internet back when? When we all needed to circle the wagons and support each other.

Coincidence? I think not.

So if you feel like you should talk to someone, that might be some wisdom from on high.

Hey, if your parents told you your birthday present was under the couch, would you ignore it? Follow the hints you're given.

And promise me guys, that if you learn anything from Fleggy, you'll learn what a huge mistake he made. He hurt a lot of people he cared about--I'm sure he's stunned right now at how big this shock wave was.

No matter what you think, people care about you, and God has things he needs you to do. Wait for him to call you to heaven, and ride out what goes on here. No matter how bad it is, suicide is always a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Better times are always ahead, and people need you here.

And that's not just true about this incident with Fleggy. It's just true.

God bless you all,

TBK

[tidus97]

theblackknight said:

so famous that "flegging" now means making long posts.

!!

it does too

en.wiktionary.org/wiki/flegging

who put that there? o.o?

a bit of fleggy will remain on the interner forever now. might even get used alot more in places other then GOI.

added:

Awww. wiktionary removed it >_>

added again:
lol they cant stop me from putting it here
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:List_of_protologisms#F

scrol down to FLEGGING

tehheee